How to Create a Great Support System for Your Doman Method® Program By: Douglas Doman
Parents of children with brain injuries need and deserve a great support system. The fact of the matter is that our parents around the world on the Doman Method Program are saving their governments millions and millions of dollars, euros, yen, etc., every year. Children with brain injuries who are a part of the government “system” are using therapists, hospitals, drugs, etc., at the expense of those governments. The saddest thing is that these funds are being wasted on methods that don’t work.
Our parents need a great support system. Moms in particular need to be relaxed and enthusiastic when they are doing the program with their child. Mom should not have to consider finances, help around the house, assistance with the other children, or getting the necessary equipment for the physical or physiological programs. All these areas should be handled by the support system. Our mothers are angels, and they should be helped and supported so they can be the very best cognitive, respiratory, nutritional, physical, and social coach for her child with a brain injury.
Throughout our seven decades developing the Doman Method, there is no question that our parents’ typical best support system has been Grandmother and Grandfather. Therefore, every effort should be made to include Grandparents in what you are doing. Send her this blog. Our super-grandparents read the books, take the online Doman Method course, and they attend all the visits. They are fully qualified to do the Advanced Doman Program. Then, if Mom and Dad are not well, Grandparents can take over without any problem.
Nowadays, our families are much more geographically diverse, and grandparents may live far away. Do your best to get them to visit for several months at a time. The beauty of grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other family members, is that they love your child and want the best for him or her. The love, determination, and positive attitude of the family is the keystone to results on the Doman Method.
Children, both younger and older than your child with brain injuries, can be an enormous help with the program. All children, hurt or well, want to do what their bigger brothers or sisters do. If older sister crawls and creeps, her younger brother with brain injuries will want to do it too. Often older siblings can communicate even better than their parents with their hurt brother or sister. Years ago I wrote a blog about an incredible younger brother who did the program with his older brother who was brain injured. Not only did he make his older brother happy doing the program, but the younger brother learned to read and do math at three. He spoke and read six languages and graduated from university and went into medical school at 19. Younger and older brothers and sisters also win big doing the program. If they don’t help, they’re going to feel very guilty about not helping mom and dad or their sibling with brain injury. That guilt will turn into bad behavior because they are unhappy with themselves.
We have many families where Mother’s best friend takes the place of a family member. In practice and spirit, these best friends ARE members of the family. Sometimes, these non-biological family members are stupendous. They are not afraid to help with the housework, cooking, shopping, and helping make sure that the volunteers coming for patterning show up on time. Often, they actually do all the work organizing volunteers so Mother can just be the best motivator for her child and the child’s success.
Sometimes these family members and best friends will also raise the funds necessary to pay for the program, physical equipment, vitamins, etc.
Our families come from more than 40 countries and six continents. Sometimes families know no one who can help with the program. What can these families do?
Join a church, synagogue, or temple in your new community. Ask for their help. If they won’t help, go find a better church.
Contact the local senior citizen organization. These organizations are composed of retired people who are looking for a place for their hearts. Falling in love with your child with brain injury and helping him or her will add years to their lives. A lot of people need to help your kid more than your kid needs help.
Local high school seniors often have community volunteer programs. Or you can pay very little for the teenagers’ after-school help or the creation of cognitive materials.
Contact your local Red Cross. For 60 years Red Cross volunteers have faithfully helped our families with housework, chores, and patterning.
Contact your local boy scouts and girl scouts. They often have community volunteer programs.
Contact local volunteer organizations or community centers. Usually these organizations are filled with kind people with big hearts.
Whatever you do, don’t give up. Great support systems have raised money to do the program, supported parents with housework/chores, organized volunteers, etc., etc. In many cases they have permitted families to continue a great program with great results for many years beyond what parents could have done on their own.
Some families hire helpers. In the best-case situations, these helpers have read the books, attended the online Doman Method course, attended all the visits, and have become qualified by Doman International to do the program. These very special helpers fall in love with our child with brain injury. Once that happens, their love and determination unite with mothers to provide them with all the support they need in the house, with all the other children, and getting the Advanced Program done daily.
This article is a work in progress. Many of you have additional ideas and best practices that have helped you get the support you need financially, at home, and the practical and spiritual support that parents need to get the best results. Please be so kind as to contact me and my assistant, Nikisha, with your experiences at founder@domaninternational.org.